kaleidoscope. (pinkblink32) wrote,
kaleidoscope.
pinkblink32

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Where to go from here?

I've just found out that I did not get a job that I've been wanting for the better part of this year. This news has come as a bit of a surprise to me and now I feel a bit lost as to what comes next. As most of you may know, I'm a real planner. I like to have things to look forward to and be aware of what is coming next. So the fact that this is an unexpected turn in the plan of my life has come as a bit of a shock to me. Of course I'm not completely against things not going according to plan- the basis of my life today is thanks to things not going according to plan so I'm not entirely giving up on life or anything. It's just that it seemed in this case things would be much easier if all had worked out.

I'm trying to remind myself as well that throughout my life I have been blessed with great jobs, so hopefully my luck is not beginning to change. And as well, it seems, things have just happened without too much work or sacrifice on my part. Although my parents would agree as they have always found me to be hardworking, I think unless I were running 10 KMs uphill I would not see things as being difficult. Or studying organic chemistry. Or reading a book written in Russian. Blah.

What am I going on about? I guess when these minor speed bumps happen I tone things down a bit, focus more clearly on things and become a good person for a while. Then slowly I slip back into being the usual Heather that everyone likes to laugh at and not hire and the vicious cycle starts again. Where will it take me this time?
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